bethesa
send,stobetheirtopiftheday,tryto
seeitfroheirpointofvieile,agree,andofferreassurantosayintheids,
“iaeryfortableuch
innilar”endtolikeand
feelateaseintuneandinhay
chag
chapter36
practice
kesperfect
odo,weleabydoing
aristotle
practiceyoueskillsan
leaneayfeela
littleaalitisonly
thesecharkillsinnversationshrealpeoplethatyouleatheothepointesendnature
itisnotenoughthattheplayersonafootballteabr >andleaandpracticetheplaysitstheexperiencetheyget,gaafterga,thatallotodevelop
nditionedreflexes
121
thepo
ketheseskillsautotic
asyoupracticeandrepeatthesetechniques,youaticallyprograhebehaviorsofbeingchaginto
yoursubnsindithentakeoverandthese
techniquesurallyandeasilythatsbeen
ourgoalfrohebeginning
youveseenthencentrationandeffortinababyleaingtoorideabicycle,oran
adultleaingtoplaygolforsquaredanatic,
doitbythenuersrepetitionalloany
things
puter,sautotically
eintooperationiftheres
alreadyinstalledintheputersry,justliketheyareinstalledinyoursubnscious,thenyoudhaveablankscreenandablanknd
yourtoolsforchagothers
practiceeveryskillyouveleaedsofaroneveryoccasionfoeusetheskillsofcharbr >
ily,friends,neances,andpeople
youhduringthedaypracticehe
experieningin
alsteveryhuninteraction
treateaeetlikealliondollarcustor,
likethestiortantpersonintheworldwhenyouapproafeelwonderful
abouttheelvestheypletely
chag
chapter37
translateskill
intoart
doyouseeanskillfulinhisandbeforekings
proverbs22:29
onceyouhaveallthetechniquesneededtocreateitntsthat
youitisheseattitudesare
addedtoyourlistening,looking,andspeakingabilitiesthatyourselves
andbeethe“art”ofchar
123
thepo
yourtoolsforchagothers
blendallyourabilitiestogetherintotheartofchary
inrporatingtheseattitudesintoyourlisteningandspeakinghabitsthesearethetntsthatwillbringpleasuretoyouandothers:
resolvetobepleasantandpleasingheachpersonyouet
resolvetobegraatter
isgoingon
resolvetobeental
resolvetobequiileandquicktopraise
paradoxically,itisonlytheotherperson
aheadofyouthatyouendupaheadyourself
chapter38
nowyou
havetodoit
thereisnosubstitutefortalentindustryandallthevirtuesareofnoavail
aldoushuxley
alingachtoldoneofhisathletes,“youhave
realtalentandyouhatsgreat
hotobeatopler,youneedlotsof
experience”ifyoutobeatopathlete,is
notexperience,nditioningisnotexperience,andtrainingisnotexperiencetheyareore
theachhatonlybygoingoutthereand
petitivelyhisathletegainexperience
thesathoughtappliestonearlyeverythingwedothinkingaboutitisntdoingitgettingreadyisntdoingit125
thepo
practicingitisntdoingitvisualizingitisntdoingitdoingitisdoingittheresnootherallthe
seaironedoutsothatyoucanacteffortlesslyandnaturally,youhavetodosothingoverandoveragainunderreallifecircutancesuntilyoudontneedtothinkaboutitanyretheseingatyourbestistondition
youdsothoroughlythatyourbehaviorsand
responsesareeasyandautotic
youhavetodoalotofchag
yourtoolsforchagothers
visualizeyourselfinasocialorbusinesssituation,andseeyourselfasrelaxed,genial,,friendly,andchagigineyouareexertingyourchaanotherpersonandtheyareslingandenjoyingyourpany
affidrepeattoyourselfregularly,“iapletelyeyousaythesee
antaligeofyourselfchaganotherperson
andenjoyingit
finally,toprograoursubnsindents
ofchatinually“actasif”youarealass
charrresolvetoile
exaagicinfluenceon
everyoneyoueinntactallowyour
nditionedreflexestoguidethehaveto
“ke”ithappen,youletithappenyouhavealreadybeguntoexperiencetheponoo
believeinyourchadenjoyit
alont”forachagperson,the
onlytiisnoe,”no“torrow,”
no“illtryagain”youingwhenyouare
fullyfo
dasssaid,“beherenow”
chapter39
rollout
thecharbr >
halftheposedofpeoplewhohave
sothingtosayandcant,andtheotherhalfwhohavenothingtosayandkeeponsayingit
robertfrost
yourabilitytocharthershecherryon
theparfait,socially,andneyinthebank,professionallythinkoftheenorusvalueyouequired
charkenew
friendseasily,bethepersoneveryoneotalktoataparty,delightyourfriendsandfaly,andcharhepantsofftotalstrangers
127
thepo
thekeytoadvancent
inthebusinessagiheadvantages
yourcharkillsakeresales
tocustorsyouyouwill
negotiatereeffectively,buyingatloesandsellingathigherprices
yourpanyakeyout
